Retail. A thankless profession with sporadic hours, low pay, and high stress. A profession that requires you to work on holidays. A profession that requires you to…well, you get the point.
Retail’s a tough job, especially when you’re selling kicks. No matter how much you may love sneakers and the sneaker game/culture as a whole, there are things about the job that even the most hardened sneaker store veteran can’t stand…and one of those things is being asked stupid questions. Here at KicksOneTwo, we understand those stupid questions. We’ve been asked those stupid questions. We know some of our readers work in shoe stores and have heard those stupid questions first-hand as well. So for the sake of a laugh and a knowing nod of the head, we’ve compiled the 5 worst questions you’ll be asked at a sneaker store. Let’s get to it.
“Are you busy?”
This is a question that’s only asked of someone who’s extremely busy, so it answers itself. If you see a salesperson straining to carry 6 shoeboxes while bouncing back and forth between 3 different sets of customers, then yes, they’re extremely busy. You’ll get helped, just wait your turn. Asking a rhetorical question isn’t going to speed up the process.
“You got any other colors?”
So you came into the store, saw a shoe you liked, and didn’t see any other colors. It happens. What would make you think there are more colors if they’re not out on display? Sneaker stores WANT to sell through their inventory. Everything they have is out and displayed prominently. It’s not like a cigar shop, where you have to say the password to get the Cubans. There’s no password that’ll unlock a secret hidden stash of heaters/other colors that aren’t on display. Just take your L and keep it moving.
“Ya’ll got them new Mikes?”
First of all, they’re called Jordans, not “mikes”. If you want “mikes”, go to Best Buy or Guitar Center. They’ll get you taken care of. The other problem with this question is that it displays two-pronged idiocracy. “New Mikes” could be any of a number of new Jordans. The employee can’t read your mind. They don’t know what you’re talking about. Secondly, if the “new Mikes” are the past weekend’s retro release…you should already know that they’re going to be gone. Thinking is essential.
“Whassup with that discount?”
It’s real quiet for anyone who’s ever asked this question. Here’s whassup with that discount: nothing at all. And yes, before you ask, the listed price is the best price we can do on the shoe you’re looking at too. If you have to ask for a discount, then you should already know that you’re not going to be getting one. And if you’ve got the plug already somehow, you don’t need to speak on it. That’s how the plug goes away.
“Are you open/closed?”
This is a question that is typically asked when the store’s gate is down or the doors are shut, and can be solved with just a touch of simple detective work. Ask yourself this: can you get in the store? If the answer is no, then they’re not open yet, or they already closed. Keep that in mind.
Have you ever worked in a sneaker store? If so, what are some of the worst questions you’ve been asked? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter, check our Facebook page for daily updates, and, as always, be sure to follow us on Instagram for all the fire sneaker pictures you can handle.