Planning on watching the Grammys tonight? We’re not, even though we do enjoy some of the yearly hijinks that are bound to occur. We’d rather just give our own awards instead.
With a panel full of old, out-of-touch voters who don’t understand what’s really relevant in music today, the Grammys are usually more rigged than a championship boxing match. Who can forget Macklemore beating out Kendrick Lamar for “Best New Artist” and then publicly apologizing for a win that he didn’t deserve in 2014? You’d probably prefer not to recollect Eminem winning “Best Rap Album” for “Recovery,” a putrid, convoluted mess of an album in 2010. Yes, the Grammys are hot garbage.